A-Z Devil May Cry (Original)
by Megan Hahn
Summary: An A-Z poem about the original Devil May Cry games.


Alastor-that one really rude blade that decided that it needs to stab me in order for me to use it, like can you imagine if your phone or laptop did that...my laptop would just crush me...I loved you ED-E...traitor

Beowulf-that one pair of boots and gauntlets that are pretty freaking awesome, I also didn't realise how powerful they are until I Doppelganger fight without it, to say the least, they are approved by me, I like them

Cerberus-fuck him, I mean seriously I feel so strongly about this, I am breaking my own rule, Cerberus is an asshole, it has been two years since I originally fought him and I know I had issues with him, but when you have to fight him again, that was hard, if he was actually that hard the first time around, why the hell would you have him as your first boss, did they just do it to say 'fuck you' to anyone who thought it would be an easy game or were they just trying to show you what you had in store, I mean, I love that game, but jesus

Divinity Statue-those statues that always give me a shitload of anxiety because I know I'm going to be facing a boss next, at least most likely

Enzo-that one guy who really isn't actually in the games, and yet I named my leopard gecko after him, only to find out years later that he's a fat italian dude...great

Faust-that one guy who I haven't fought because fuck DMC 4, enough said

Geryon the Timesteed-that one horse which is going to invoke a storytime, right here, right now, okay, let's go back five years ago, I got this game pack at Wal-Mart, actually I got two of then, they bundled two games for thirty bucks, the first one I got was the Devil May Cry Collection and Anarchy Reigns and the other one was Prototype 2 and Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, I didn't touch Devil May Cry for a long time, just because it was never really my cup of tea, but one day after owning it from almost two years, I decided the time had come, I finished DMC 1, then DMC 2, only Dante's story, and started DMC 3, I hated the first game, loved the second, and then really, really hated DMC 3, I didn't get why it had to be so freaking hard, but I wanted to finish it regardless, I got up to the point where you fight Geryon, only to not be able to beat it, I tried a few times in that year, but ended up just giving up on it, two whole years later, I decided I was going to beat it and I finally did, I beat that damn horse and then the rest of the game...two years later and I realise just how much I love that game, I also decided to play Lucia's story and let's just say...fuck DMC 2, I am not a real fan of hard games, but DMC 3 just got it so right, it's hard, but not impossible and when you finally beat it, it feels like the best damn thing in the world

Holy Water-that one item I really like, I mean, what's not to like about an item that takes health away from your enemies, nothing, that's the answer

Ifrit-those gauntlets that I honestly don't even remember because it has been so long, but need to fill the 'i' space so...hope that works out for you  
Jester-that one guy who is really just kinda an asshole, I mean, how messed up do you have to be to dress up as a jester just to taunt someone, don't you have something better to do and regardless of that, why do I have to fight him and then other bosses, how is that fair to me, I get so excited I bet the boss for ht stage, just to realise that I still have to fight another boss, also, Arkham's boss battle was...dissipating, it wasn't really that hard, while Vergil was much harder and enjoyable

Kyrie-that one chick who...is a chick...in the game I haven't finished yet, but if I know anything about DMC love interests, she's probably going to die  
Lucia-that one redhead who I wanted to really like, but after playing her missions on DMC 2...why, why did they have to make that game, why did they have to make it so bad...why were the stages like two minutes long, why did everything die so easily and why did I never die, why was Arius so freaking easy and why does he look like a young Heihachi  
Mundu-that one boss who I was terrified to fight, because I thought it was going to be so hard and I was never going to beat...and then beat in one try...why didn't he just sic Phantom on me again, wait they did...in the next game...twice...fuck that  
Nelo Angelo-that one twin brother...ish, who somehow was a hell of a lot easier to fight than the original Vergil, apparently when I killed him, he just became super weak and terrible  
Orbs-those things that literally mean everything to you, from healthy and damage, to being able to buy anything and everything you need (this wasn't because I had nothing else for 'o', trust me)

Quicksilver-that one style that I've never tried because I only play with trickster, I don't get how people can play without it, I mean, how can you play when you can't dodge a lot

Rudra and Agni-those brothers whose fight is not only fun, but their swords are awesome and one of my favorite weapons in DMC 3  
Sparda-that one guy who is my daddy...and also to blame for all that shit I went through, not really a fan of that, thanks dad

Trish-that one lady demon puppet thing that really needs to learn that in human culture we don't fucking stab people with swords as a hello and then kick motorcycles at them  
Underworld-that one place that had that really stupid boss that I really hated...I think...I think that was the place  
Vergil-that one guy who is probably one of my all time favorite bosses, I don't know about you all, but when I fought him and I beat him, I felt like I could do anything, like I wasn't just hacking and slashing, but that I was actually usually skill and strategy, he's what a boss should be like

* * *

 **I just want to go on a little rant here. I want to start off by saying, I didn't play the DMC games when they first came out, as the first one came out when I was two, I also want to say that the first DMC game I was ever exposed to was DMC: Devil May Cry. I actually really loved DMC: Devil May Cry (I uploaded one of the A-Z poems for it when I uploaded this). I played DMC 1, 2, and 3 after that. I have respect for all four games (not including DMC 4 since I haven't really played it), I like all four games to a certain point, but I also get where people are coming from who hate the remake. Other than the name and some core concepts, they are nothing alike. I digress, I really love DMC 3 over all the other games and I want to play it all over again, so folks, if you ever have a game you really hate, maybe give it another chance, you may love it. I also want to give my two cents on DMC 2. Fuck that game. I know I already mentioned the whole part about the game being stupidly easy, but one of my other issues that I have with it, as well as DMC 1, is that they reuse bosses. You fight the same bosses way too many times, I honestly don't mind DMC 2's boss. The concept is kinda cool. Fight a boss that is made up off the other bosses, but when you just fight the same boss ten times, not doing anything differently, it's not fun. DMC 3 did it well. They had the part where you have to fight the bosses, but only** _ **have**_ **to fight a handful of them. Maybe you'll disagree, which is fine, but this is just how I feel.**

 **In any case, thanks for reading, I appreciate more than I can say. If you have any comments, questions, concerns, ideas, criticisms, or suggestions please feel free to comment or PM me. Have a wonderful day!**


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